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CHANGE THE SELF, LOOK
Most of us want outside/external things to change so that we will feel comfortable and happy. Yet we don’t want to change ourselves, our habits and our patterns. Most of us don’t want to change! We want things to change. I will be happy when I get another job, new partner, better income. If only my mother, my father, my boss, my friends would acknowledge me I would not feel better about myself. Yet what most of us desire is to feel better, be happier, we want our lives to go smoothly, to be loved and to love. Yet we don’t want to change or know how to change our deeply ingrained patterns of being, our habits of relating to others, our habits of identifying and reacting unconsciously to the thoughts and feelings that run through us. When we believe our thoughts and believe what we are believing there is a part of us that does not want to change as the familiar way of being and behaving is comfortable, we fear stepping outside our comfort zone. We preserve the way things are, yet deeply wanting things to be different to what they are. We constantly deceive ourselves so we don’t have to hear the truth, the ego wants to keep things the same, it wants to judge, compare, compete and hold onto what is familiar and comfortable.
The Work is a way of leading you to the truth of who you are, it leads you to the end of suffering. It is a way of bringing the mind to rest, to peace. When you stop and ask yourself is what I am believing true? is it absolutely true? how do I feel and react when I believe the thought? and who would I be without the thought? So many people live with the belief “what will people think” if I do this or that, if I say this or that, they worry, they lose sleep, they stop themselves from communicating, they may even give up their dreams and do what they think others want them to do. Yet who would you be? if you couldn’t believe the thought “what will people think” you may feel free, light and able to follow through on what feels good for you.
Most of us battle with our mind we have a love hate relationship with the mind, we want it to shut up and give us peace one minute and the next minute we are asking our mind for answers, we look to the mind to figure things out. There is nothing wrong with the mind, it is the meaning you attach to the thoughts that create the inner battle with the mind.
For most of my life I had no idea how truly unhappy, sad and angry I was! I would experience situational depression, deep feelings of loneliness and sadness. At times my energy levels where so low yet I would push through life with the feeling of dragging an anchor behind me. To outsiders I looked like a happy go lucky laid back person. I experienced health issues that I thought and blamed for the cause of my depression, resentment and low energy. Along the way I had tried many different things that would help me for a while than life presented me with something I didn’t understand and couldn’t control, no matter how hard I tried, bang back down the hole I would go. I was on a search for the “Enlightened Happiness” peace, which was like looking for a needle in a haystack. I found that external things like relationships, friends, holidays, cars etc, only gave me happiness for a short time than I would be back searching for it again. It became an obsession.
Along the way I become more self-aware and that realization started me on an amazing journey. I discovered what I had known deep down for a long time that I was a prisoner of my own thoughts and beliefs. I could see the pattern yet I could not change it. I would wish, hope and pray that others and life would change, what a waste of time and energy that was.
I heard about the work of Byron Katie yet through my own ignorance I thought it was too simply, and nearly dismissed it all together. Within 5 mins of attending my first workshop I was in tears, tears of joy at the message I had received from my heart, The Work of Byron Katie was my key to truth, peace and happiness. The Work is a simple yet powerful process of understanding our thoughts and beliefs.
Through Inquiry I come out of denial and came to see my problems from an entirely different perspective. I now live in more internal peace and ultimately like, love myself and others better. Inquiry allows me to put my mind in its rightful place as a servant and tool rather than the director of my life. It allows my heart to open and receive what I was previously unable to see. I am living now, life is vibrant and exciting and I now look forward to life showing me the way rather than me pushing and shoving to find it. An open mind is a state of Grace.
This process changed my life, my energy levels increased, I learnt to be gentle and kind with myself, I found the peace and happiness that I was searching for within myself and in turn I find that the world now reflects that back to me. I am now a facilitator of The Work, I have attended the school for the work as a participant and as a staff member several times, and the certification process is an amazing pathway. To serve you is how I serve me. It is always only me I serve. Nothing else is possible as I serve you. – Byron Katie.
What I notice is this is how I experience my life more and more each day, how does life get better than this it just does.